Just lately, browsing at Barnes and Noble bookstore, I noticed a number of books about pleasure on display. Apparently, hearing "have a happy new year" numerous times in the first few weeks of January is not sufficient to deliver it about.
As I see it, there are two fundamental truths to be able to being happy.
Truth 1: We are responsible for our own happiness.
I am aware, that one is always hard to swallow: Why should I have to take responsibility regarding my own happiness? Why can't it just happen? Like, right now, plus more often! (On the other hand, would you rather rely on the vagaries of fate to determine when and how much you can be happy? ) Accepting this truth is the first, and perhaps most difficult, step.
Truth a couple of Happiness is a skill.
As a Buddhist monk, Matthieu Ricard, named "the happiest man in the world" based on MRI imaging regarding his brain while meditating, writes in "Happiness: A Guide To be able to Develop Life's Most Important Skill" happiness is something to be figured out, like playing tennis or reading. That's empowering, don't you consider? Because it means that, rather than something that just "happens, " happiness will be something I can practice (like my backhand! ) - basically the days when I just can't seem to get there, it's more akin to our tennis game being off than it is about not being capable of "find" happiness.
Still, I often forget these truths after i get caught up in the hectic day-to-day and find myself reverting to the good ol' familiar myths many of us have been conditioned to believe.
Belief 1: Once I get what I want, I'll be happy.
The newest sports car, six-figure job and window office, or dream partnership may bring an undeniable excitement and satisfaction into your life but it definitely won't be long before a new desire takes its place. That's all right, it's the individual condition to be in a constant state of wanting. The trick is to relish the feeling of desire and the process of moving toward its pleasure -- not to equate it with unhappiness. (Not convinced? You merely need pick up the latest tabloid to see celebrities demonstrating how endless money, adoration and excitement do not guarantee happiness. )
Fairy tale 2: If life weren't so hard, I'd be happy.
Anywhere along the way (probably from watching quick-fix TV sitcoms), we produced the expectation that the default setting of life is "easy", and are taken aback when it isn't. Break-ups, layoffs, injuries - these are generally all bizarre aberrations that aren't supposed to happen! During these times when life is hard, we tend to think, "Okay, as soon as [this difficult thing] passes, then I will be happy. " Fortunately: we don't have to put off happiness. The not-so-good news: it takes training.
It's up to us. Just like the tennis fanatic playing in very temperatures without a net, we can make a decision to be happy regardless of circumstances : to commit to a state of well-being, fully engaged in and living life -- whatever it brings.
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